May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
