we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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