they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so let's talk penis.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
