Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
even my farts smell like vagina
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
