we made out on top of his cat.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
