i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
