piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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