dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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