You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
