I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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