Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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