Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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