it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
