i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
