i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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