you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
only if we run a train.
done.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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