So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
