Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
