Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
