please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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