HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
