I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
