Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
