the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
