Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
