you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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