A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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