hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
