Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
