You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
