I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
