Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
