bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
