u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
