You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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