On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
