Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
