Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
