My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My pussy is not your playground.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
