Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
