I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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