I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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