He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
