is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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