what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
