So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
