They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
