I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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