He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
