dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
