you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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