i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
