I cannot find my penis.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
